Conformity

Every single day, I have somebody telling me to try to fit in with other people. I look right in their face, look into their eyes and ask "Why?" Nobody but my family seems to understand that I don't want to be like other kids my age. I can't. I have been raised to be who I really am. My mom homeschooled me for the past five years and when we moved, I entered the ninth grade, which is stupid. I am doing things now that I did five years ago when my mother started homeschooling me! So now, whenever somebody whispers "So you aren't Christian?" or "You aren't Catholic?" I look straight into their eyes and I say "He** no." and then I walk away. I have no desire and no need to comform, so I won't! Thanks for listening! Reading. Haha. -Maize

Initial Reactions

When a person first finds out that I am a pagan, there are a number of reactions that they show.
One would be-recoiling as if I am a disease, hands reaching up for their cross, then quickly leaving the room Two-Nodding understandingly as if this were something bad that has happened to me, like the flu or strep throat
Three-Telling me outright that I will burn in Hell for all of eternity unless in join in the cleanness of Christ (just like Lisa)
Four-Saying that it is cool that I have chosen something different, and that they respect that.
Five- and the most common is the gasp of shock as they think "She worships the devil??!!!"
I think that people have been so freaking brainwashed from birth that anything that everybody else does is normal!!! Oh, yeah, drinking wine every Sunday and believing that you are drinking the blood of a dead man is normal! Following a religion that tells you that if you make one tiny little mistake you will go to Hell! That if you do not conform to their religion,  that you will burn in Hell! I am just so sick of people telling me what to do with my life, and how to choose to live my life that I could scream!
But more often than not, I do, admittedly, take a little pleasure from that fact that every time somebody see's my tattoo (a key with the triple moon on the top. Don't freak, it's on my leg) or when I wear a pentacle or an ankh around my family. That little frown that they give when they realize that I am not covering up my religion as if it something to be ashamed of! Awesome! My rant is now over, thanks for listening. Reading. Haha. -Maize

Connections

Sometimes, occasionally, I will admit, that I feel a bit...out of touch with the Goddess. My family is worships the Goddess, but I subscribe more to the Ancient Egyptian religion. Same thing, but I have always had this burning interest in Egypt, and when we converted to paganism years ago, I thought that it was meant to be. But getting back to the out of touch deal. Sometimes I feel out of touch with the Goddess, so I meditate. Sometimes I burn incense, but because that makes the smoke alarm go off, I mainly just burn a candle. I sit on the floor, I cross my legs and I look into the flame, and reach into myself, and if I really, truly focus, then I can reconnect with her. Only then do I realize how out of touch I was feeling, and how scared. Most of the time afterwards I am exhausted, so I only ever do this before bed. Then I pour a bit of the candle wax onto a paper plate so it forms a kind of coin, and I put it into a box so I will never forget how many times I have reconnected with the All-Mother. Anyway, forgetting about me, I wanted to post a link to a really cool website with articles on general paganism practices, Ancient Egyptian paganism, new meditations and other cool stuff. You should take a look at it, because it is awesome! www.thewhitegoddess.co.uk/articles/index.asp Thanks for tuning in! -Maize

Goddess Estare

I am not sure if I am spelling it right, but I am going to talk about the Goddess Estare. My mother has told me for years that the Easter Bunny, like so many other Christian Holidays and Saints was based on the Goddess Estare's own little miracle. One day, spring came, but it was still very cold. One night, the cold came back, and a little bird froze. Estare came upon this bird and brought it back to life. But, having been dead, the bird came back in the form of a rabbit. So, as tribute to the Goddess who saved his life, every Easter, or       , the rabbit/bird lays eggs. You know, rabbits have live young, so the story of a rabbit who just lays eggs does not ring true. My mother, upon reading this, will probably go on a rant on how Christianity is based on Paganism, and I will assuage her, as I always do around every Paganism-rooted "Christian" holiday. Go outside at some point this week, put your hand over a plant, and ask Estare to bless it, just as she blesses nature every spring. Thanks-Maize.
P.S-If you want to read more about Easter, and it's connections to Wicca and Paganism, go to www.keithhunt.com/Easter.html for a more in depth look.

Strep Throat

Many people think that just because some pagans are witches and many Wiccans are witches that we never get sick. That is such freaking bull. This is the third of fourth time this year that I have stayed home from school because of strep throat. Which also means that I am prohibited from going to the library, which is my one source to the Internet and other things. So far, no followers but it doesnt really bother me. The idea that one day, maybe even years from now that somebody will be reading this is a comfort to me and somewhat assuages my fear of being forgotten. Another note, pagans can be afraid to die, like I am. Dying doesnt scare me but the idea that I will forget everything that I have suffered through in this life will be forgotten terrifies me beyond belief. Another blog will follow soon, but I am lacking the funnies right now. -Maize

My Ex-Best Friend

My ex-best friend, who I will call Lisa, was a Christian. She knew that my family and I are pagans, and she chose to ignore that fact....most of the time. There were still times when she told me to leave my "devil-worshiping rituals" and join the cleanness of Christ. I told her to mind her own business. Lisa was, most of the time, a very good friend, and most of the time she refused to talk about religion, due to the fact that my mother is always up for a good debate about the origins of Christianity. Which she will probably mention in a comment on this post. I love ya, Ma! But overall, Lisa was a good friend. Albeit none too bright. Last summer, I started going to youth group with a few of my friends to the church. Lisa was stressed the whole way there, but when I entered the church and didnt burst into flames, she relaxed. I didnt believe in what they said, I wasnt there to learn about Christ, I was just trying to see things in Lisa's eyes. She eventually relaxed when we went to a Church-sponsored trip to Chicago, and I was so happy. Then we moved the next month to where we live now. People here are very close minded (much like the librarians) and almost nobody really comments on the fact that we arent Christian, Catholic or Lutherans. But, between inviting us to their churches, I think that most people here have accepted that they have heathens in their midst.

Oopsie!

I totally forgot to tell you! If you want to give me advice, constructive criticism, anything, it is appreciated. Just e-mail me at maizepagan@yahoo.com! You can do so even if for no other reason than to have a pen pal! Goddess knows I could use one! Thanks again!!!! -Maize

HI!!

Seeing as how I am in high school and have been constantly told not to put my personal information on the Internet, I am not going to say my name. If you are going to comment on this, then you can call me Maize. (dont ask how I got that nickname. Lol) This isnt a blog about all of the little things that have gone wrong in my life. This is about how hard it is to be a teenage Pagan in the middle of a little town where it is mainly Catholics and Christians. I have nothing against those who have a different religion than I do, I just dont believe in what they do. I havent told my family about this, and I dont know if I will. So here I go!
Not too long ago, I started getting serious about my religion again. My family and I had just moved and I hadnt been in a position to do so in months. So I started ordering books throughout the library network on paganism, spells, code of conduct, things like that. At one point, one of the 3 local librarians pulled me aside and asked me what I was doing with books like that. I told her I was doing research, and she told me not to participate in any rituals. You could hear it in her voice that she was terrified for me, which I thought was sweet. But at the time, it was hilarious. You may think it is odd that I say that, but it is not the first time somebody has told me that I would spend eternity burning in a fiery pit of flames where demons would poke me with pitchforks. But more about that later. Thanks for giving me and my blog a chance! -Maize